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Relationship experts discuss trusting your instincts with your date.

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Evan:

Wouldn’t it be great if people were like computers? Instead of acting on things like “feelings” and “emotions”, we’d work off facts and empirical evidence, so that we’d never be fooled by the same racket twice. Sure, no one would be able to cry at chick flicks or sense when something’s wrong when you come home from work, but who cares? The day you emulate your laptop will be the final day you look across the dinner table at your boyfriend and ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing with this guy?”

Regrets? I’ve had a few. And after each bad relationship, I find myself retrospectively scratching my head, wondering how I could have been so blind. Ever ask your friends, “Now that we broke up, what did you really think about him?” Sure, you have. Upon which you learned that everyone unanimously felt he was a jerk since Day 1. What are friends for, if not to lie to you by lending unconditional support?

So if the rest of the world can see that someone is toxic, why do we stay? How do we end up with people who turn others off, but turn us on? I think it’s those damn human feelings getting in the way again. Even a total jerk can be expected to be a nice guy 80% of the time. And that 80% is all the positive reinforcement you need to stick around for too long with the wrong guy. If you were to be an impartial third-party judge of your own life, you might act differently. But it’s a lot harder to leave your own neglectful boyfriend than it is to tell your girlfriend to dump hers.

It’s simple to put labels on a guy to justify why he should be dumped– he’s neglectful, he’s abusive, he’s selfish, he’s gay, blahblahblah. What’s far more interesting is when you find yourself wholly invested in someone who defies any of these “bad” descriptions. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’re dating a good person. He was generous when courting you, he was respectful when he met your parents, and he gets along really well with your friends. You couldn’t have seen his downside when you first got together. But since he lost his job, you’ve discovered he has a really short temper. Plus, he hasn’t been too aggressive in finding work. In fact, he said that he’s contemplating a new career, although he doesn’t know what that will be quite yet.

Revelations like this present a real problem. People fall hard and fast for each other, which is wonderful and normal. No one should begrudge anyone’s puppy love. But as any parent will tell their teens, puppy love is evanescent. True love takes endurance. Which is why there’s no point in beating yourself up about not trusting your judgment. It doesn’t do you any good.

By the same token, I’m not saying that you should always trust your judgment. We’re humans. We make mistakes. However, like lab rats who get shocked when they go for the wrong cheese, we have the capacity to learn from them. And if you’re going out with the same narcissistic guy or the same alcoholic guy or the same emotionally unavailable guy over and over and over gain, THAT’s where you need to beat up on yourself. The one thing you can trust is that you’ve been down this path before and you know how it ends.

It may make perfect sense to be gun-shy following a string of mistakes, but the present is not the past, and you are not the same as you were during your last relationship. Because relationships are inherently exploratory, judgment is best rendered later, when you have more facts. And if, after all of this, you still can’t trust your judgment, try to trust your gut – the part that says that you’re not excited by him, the part that says that something’s a little off. You’ll never know right off the bat if the guy who’s close with his family is a spineless mama’s boy, so give him a fair shake until he doesn’t deserve one. Just don’t expect your friends to tell you the truth until it’s over.

Linda:

One of the things people asked me when they found out I was working on our book was an obvious, but intriguingly weird, question: Why would anybody listen to a single person’s thoughts about relationships? This was a question particularly directed to me by a couple of smug married people I met casually, who wouldn’t read a book like Why You’re Still Single anyway, didn’t know me, and believed that they were far more difficult to read than they actually were.

The thesis behind this question is that a single person, by definition, knows nothing about relationships, because if she did, she wouldn’t be single. It makes sense on the surface, right? But think about it this way: if success is defined as the ability to have a long-term relationship that doesn’t end for one reason or another, then every person starts every new relationship batting 0-for-whatever. All your relationships have ended. You haven’t made it work yet. Ergo, you know nothing.

This kind of thinking, if you embrace it, will sink you. You are asking yourself to enter your next relationship assuming you don’t know anything. In my experience, it’s not the things you genuinely don’t know that mess you up; it’s the things you won’t admit you know. It’s the things that are sitting right there ready to be noticed if you’re willing to pay attention to what’s already happened in your own life.

You’ve learned, for instance, that when people stop calling and they make you do all the work, that’s a bad sign. You’ve learned that picking at the scab of an old argument has never, ever, in the history of your relationships, made anything better. You’ve learned that nobody interesting is attracted to you when you act helpless. You’ve learned that showing off how damaged and needy you are will only attract drama.

So you have two choices. You can go on the theory that you don’t know anything. You’re single, after all. What do you know? Or you can listen to your own judgment and your own experience, and you can admit that you have, in whatever painful way, probably learned a lot.

Of course, the problem is the fact that not all your instincts should be obeyed. Lots of things — fear, overthinking, past hurts, external pressure — can throw them off. It’s not that you should act on every impulse that you have on the assumption that your accumulated wisdom will steer your impulses every time. The trick, I think, is how to tell the difference between an impulse and an instinct. I’d love to tell you that there’s a rule of thumb that will identify the difference between a gut feeling you must not ignore and one that you must overcome. From time to time, you’re going to guess wrong; there’s no way around it.

Consider the classic problem of what to take personally. Your boyfriend is busy at work, and he stops calling. On the one hand, your experience will tell you that signals that come in the form of people pulling back from you should not be ignored, and that reading the room is important. On the other hand, it may also tell you that you have some tendency to take things to heart that should not be taken as such. What do you do? It would be great if there were a bulletproof way to be right, but you’re going to have to draw a line. In this case, it’s a line that marks how much dropping out is too much before you freak out. The fact that you freaked out unnecessarily last time over not being called for two days doesn’t mean that you should let it go by if you don’t get a call for two weeks. In the same way, the fact that you feel like you missed the signs last time because your boyfriend avoided you for three weeks doesn’t mean that the first time he asks for a night alone, you should tell him you get it, tell him you understand, wish him well, and rush right over to pick up the DVD you left at his apartment so that the two of you never have to speak again.

What you have to do is read the signs — all the signs, good and bad, and do the best you can. You know things, and it’s when you can feel yourself straining to ignore one of those things you know that you’re going to get yourself in trouble. What do you, a single person, know about relationships? Probably more than you think.

Copyright © 2006 Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes

Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano.com, an online dating consulting service that partners with JDate and other dating sites. He has been featured on CNN, Fox, NPR, and the Today Show, and, yes, he is, in fact, single and living in Los Angeles. Linda Holmes writes as “Miss Alli” for Television Without Pity and is a frequent contributor to MSNBC.com. She lives in Minneapolis.

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Spring could be your season to find true love online! Spring is a great time to start online dating because people are feeling energetic are looking for the chance to start a new, fresh relationship.

So, how can you find your digital date?

If you’ve never tried online dating before, you may be a bit nervous about trying it out – but there’s nothing to worry about. So many people are dating online that you’re immediately part of a big community, and good dating websites …

dating, internet dating

Spring could be your season to find true love online! Spring is a great time to start online dating because people are feeling energetic are looking for the chance to start a new, fresh relationship.

So, how can you find your digital date?

If you’ve never tried online dating before, you may be a bit nervous about trying it out – but there’s nothing to worry about. So many people are dating online that you’re immediately part of a big community, and good dating websites have lots of advice on how to create a good profile and how to take the first step and contact someone you’re interested in. If you’re used to emailing your friends, you can date online.

Finding your date might be a little more complicated – there are thousands of people on every dating site – but paying attention to how you write your profile, and being specific about the sort of person you’re looking for will help you to narrow down the field of possible dates. Take the time to write your profile carefully; you want to make yourself sound interesting and appealing, perhaps with a touch of humour and something that will attract the reader’s attention, like a catchy headline, or a question at the end that invites the reader to send you a contact message.

It’s also a good idea to post a good photograph to accompany your profile. Whilst you should accept that some people will contact you based only on your photo and not on your profile, most people will take the two together and it’s always good to be able to put a face to a profile.

Once you’re happy with what you’ve written and the photo you’ve chosen, post them on a dating site and wait to see what happens. In the meantime, browse through the other profiles on the site to see if there’s anyone who meets your criteria. If so, send them a brief contact message to see if they want to get in touch.

It may be a different approach to finding a date, but it’s one that’s worked for thousands of people – give digital romance a try this spring!

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Well, after 4 years of reading far in excess of 10,000 profiles of men and women searching for a partner through online dating services, I’ve laughed at my fair share of poorly written introductions…

Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured our attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you wish to get lots of reactions to your online dating service advertisement, otherwise why would you bother joining a site, and paying a…

dating service,online dating service,dating

Well, after 4 years of reading far in excess of 10,000 profiles of men and women searching for a partner through online dating services, I’ve laughed at my fair share of poorly written introductions…

Of those 10,000 online dating service profiles, no more than a dozen captured our attention enough to make the first move. I’m sure that you wish to get lots of reactions to your online dating service advertisement, otherwise why would you bother joining a site, and paying a fee to meet new people?

If that is the case, then make sure you avoid the following 3 mistakes at all costs:

1. “I May Be the one you’re Seeking For” This may be the case. However, by employing this combination of words anywhere for your online dating service profile, you aren’t telling me, or your potential suitor, anything new…

What this line does say to someone checking you out is that the online dating service profiler didn’t do a lot of thinking about how they wanted to present themselves. Tell people what gets your eyes twinkling or even what REALLY gets you up in the morning – and don’t say it’s your alarm clock, either. Now is the time to let your passions really shine through…

2. “I’m the one Your Mother Warned You About” This is, from my research in any case, virtually the most overused phrase in an opening line for online dating service profiles. True, it’s the generic option of some of the larger sites (such as Lavalife or even True) – if your profile is awaiting approval, this tag line will show up while waiting for the a-okay…

To avoid this, come up with something a bit more unique and original. But what if you aren’t sure how to do this? Well, it’s not hard to take a look at your competition in the online dating service field, so why not do a quick search and see what everyone else is doing?

Reading other people’s description of themselves could just get your creative juices flowing. At the very least, it’ll explain what everyone else is saying about themselves – and what key phrases and words you should avoid in turn…

3. Glaring Spelling or even Grammatical Mistakes This tip might seem childish, or even trite – but its critically important. While chatting with someone online, you may make a few spelling mistakes that a potential suitor will find annoying. However until you get to that stage with someone, noone should know that you’ve got dyslexia, or just can’t spell worth beans…

It shows a lot to a potential suitor while they peruse the online dating services that someone has taken the time to spell check their document. Hell, get a friend to proof read it for you if want just in case you’ve missed something important…

However if you can’t take the time to write something legible, virtually all people perusing the online dating service websites will assume you won’t have time to bother doing other, even more important tasks. And when you only have two or three of seconds to make that first impression before someone clicks on another person – each and every detail counts…

790

For many people, the hardest part of starting to date online is figuring out what to put in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a profile page, where each member can write about his or herself, upload a photo (or several) etc. What you write about yourself in the profile is extremely important: second only to the picture in terms of making other members aware of who you are and making them want to contact you.

dating, chat, relationship, dating tips, dating advice, relationship tips, relationship advice

For many people, the hardest part of starting to date online is figuring out what to put in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a profile page, where each member can write about his or herself, upload a photo (or several) etc. What you write about yourself in the profile is extremely important: second only to the picture in terms of making other members aware of who you are and making them want to contact you.

Many people are keen to start searching for and contacting people as soon as they join a site. As a result, they either leave their profile blank, or write something quickly before beginning their search. This is OK if you’re just having a look around, but if you are serious about finding love online, you should take some time and make sure your profile is a good reflection of who you are. After all, it’s what makes you stand out from the rest of the people on the site.

Here are a few points to keep in mind:

Not too long, not too short

Try to write a profile that is detailed enough to tell people about you, but short enough to leave people wanting more. Writing a full length essay is a waste of time as most people wouldn’t bother reading it all. If someone did read it through and contacted you, you probably wouldn’t have anything left to talk about!

Be yourself

It’s easy to lie when writing a profile, but more difficult to follow through once you meet someone. If your profile says you’re 6’4” when you’re really 5’11”, your cover will be blown as soon as you turn up for your date. Also, starting a relationship with a lie is a sure way to get off to a bad start.

Unfortunately, even people who are honest and well-meaning sometimes lie unintentionally in their profile, by trying to write it in a way that they think would make them more attractive to other people. If you want to attract a likeminded person, you have to be honest about who you are, your hobbies and interests etc.

Don’t be too demanding

Many people use their profiles to list the qualities they would like their ideal match to have. There is nothing wrong with that, but make sure you balance this with information about yourself. You don’t want to come across as writing a ransom note.

Too much information

Avoid mentioning past disappointments and bad break-ups in your profile; this is not what the space is for. Think: do you really want this to be the first thing people see when they look you up? Don’t let yourself be defined by negative aspects of your personality and bad experiences of the past.

Make it funny

Using humour is a good way to liven up a profile and give people a glimpse into your personality. Some of the most successful profiles are the ones that simply make people laugh. Including a joke you find funny is good, as long as you make sure you write something about yourself in the profile as well.

Be original

Anyone can write “I have a good sense of humour”, but not anyone could make you laugh. When writing about yourself, don’t just use a list of adjectives. Try to go deeper and give people examples of what you actually mean. A good way of doing this is starting off with a list of adjectives and then using each one as a starting point for a few lines of text.

Upload a picture

Even the least shallow people want to know who they’re talking to. Not having a photo on your profile will make many people ignore you completely. Some people even specify in their search that they only want to speak to people whose picture appears on the site. Don’t worry about your looks. Different people have different tastes and not everyone expects to meet a movie star or a supermodel online. A clear headshot of you smiling is all it takes to seriously increase the amount of responses you get.

Be consistent

Make sure your profile, your screen name and your picture all match the impression you want to give. If you are a woman looking for a serious relationship, calling yourself “SexKitten” and uploading a semi-nude picture of yourself, is not likely to attract the kind of man you’re looking for. A man looking for a wife, should probably not use a username that hints about how good he is in bed.

Remember: your profile is the first (and often last) impression you will make to potential online matches. Make it count.

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“I might not be Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock!” Come on. You can do better than that. Here are some tips to help you when putting together your dating profile that has more taste than the above headline.

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“I might not be Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock!”

Come on. You can do better than that. When putting together your dating profile, avoid pick up lines like the above. I have seen dating profiles with these kinds of subject lines. You have to be a lot more romantic than the above line. The above subject line is too raw. You have to bring it down a notch.

Here are some tips to help you when putting together your dating profile.

1.Do not use negativity in your profile. This is a big turn off. “You don’t need to have car keys to drive me crazy.” Or, “I may not look like much, but I am drinking milk.” “If you want me, come and get me.” Ridiculous lines in a dating profile do not work. You have to be positive in your profile because you want to make a great first lasting impression. You do not want to come across as a jerk. If you use the above lines, you will come across as a jerk.

2.Build curiosity in your profile. A terrific subject line could be, “Have you ever been to Fogo De Chao?” This is curiosity. You want that man or women to click on to read more. A dater would be curious to know what is Fogo De Chao? (Between you and I, this is a fabulous Brazilian steak house.) You can go on from there and add more. Here’s another. “Have you ever been to Utopia? Let’s experience our two minds together as one.”

3.People like to hear a short story about you in your profile. Give one just a little taste of who you are. “I am a fire fighter and I am also working on pursuing my passion to open a sports bar while still working as a fire fighter.” Daters want to read details about you. Give it to them. This will let a dater know that you are going places and you have goals.

4.Always be honest in your dating profile and display real photos of you. If you lost some weight or even gained some, have an up to date photo showing how you look today.

5.Never say your name is Wayne. Do not use your real name. Come up with a screen name that stands out and shows a little bit of your character. Also make sure you capitalize each letter in your screen name and never put numbers behind your name.”IAmForReal”,“GorgeousBrownEyes”, etc.You should get the point.

6.People like to be with winners. Bring out the self confidence in you. Walk the walk. If you are self confident in who you are, then you should not have a problem here at all.

7.Make sure you put in your profile what you can offer and the kind of person you are looking for. These tips should help in getting many responses to your dating profile. Get noticed….

629

A profile is an online representation of yourself so why not represent the best parts of you?

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A profile is an online representation of yourself so why not represent the best parts of you? There are four areas of a profile that you should keep in mind: honesty, creativity, research, writing. By mastering these areas, you will be able to write an excellent and self-elevating profile that can capture anyone’s attention.

Part One: Honesty

Always be honest with the readers of your profile; remember that you and the others on the site are searching for that special someone–how can a relationship grow when there is deceit from the beginning? Speak candidly about who you are and what you are looking for. Then, at least you will know that, when someone messages you, they are genuinely interested. Putting up a pretense will only summon people who are interested in your lies; this will not build a solid relationship. Being honest doesn’t mean to be sell yourself short; you don’t have to dwell on your faults and misgivings. Showcase your good qualities (just don’t exaggerate).

Part Two: Creativity

Nothing can turn a potential relationship sour more than a dull profile. There are thousands upon thousands of people looking for the exact same thing you are: a genuine connection. You must be able to catch their attention. Try to avoid using phrases like Looking for Mr. Perfect? or In Search Of That Special Lady? or descriptions like hard-working?, romantic? and attractive?. These are all cliche and overdone. Spice your profile up with original ideas! Show off your strengths. Give your readers anecdotes or narratives that display you in a good light. Get yourself a thesaurus. As silly as this may sound, a thesaurus can help you avoid using words that have been used too many times before. Do not use letters to describe yourself; for example, SWF (single white female) can mean a variety of things to a variety of people. Don’t limit yourself to this.

Part Three: Research

You know what kind of relationship you want; whether it be a friend, a casual date, or something as deep as a marital partner, you have a clear picture in your mind of how far you are willing to go. Seek out people with that same goal.

Write a profile that will appeal to the kind of person you’re after; the only way they can find you is if you help them. Check out other profiles for ideas.

If you receive interest with your profile but still can’t seem to find that right person, then go do some online window-shopping. Scan through profiles, find some that catch your attention, and start messaging. They don’t all have to come to you.

Part Four: Writing

So, you’ve gathered your information and you have a clear idea of what you want out of this site; however, your writing seems a little…lifeless. Be careful of this! By paying attention to the three steps before you, you should be able to write a profile that is distinctly you.

This is an example of what not to do: I’m a SBM looking for a SF. Good looking, funny. Message me. Eyes are going to glaze over; you cannot limit yourself like this. It will only hurt you.

Spice it up: I am a 22-year-old female, blessed with long, blonde hair and big, brown eyes. I’m short, only 5’4, but what I lack in size, I make up for in spirit. I am looking for someone that can keep up with me; come and get me, boys. She gives a description and a challenge, all within a few sentences ”you don’t have to be long-winded to get the point across.

A good profile can bring you all of the attention you want and lead you to a successful relationship; follow these steps to what you want.

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For most young career people, they find spending nearly 35% of their time at the workplace than at their respective homes. That accounts to almost 9 hours of work, work, and work.

For this reason, most of the people involved in this kind of situation find themselves out of place in the social world because they simply do not have time to meet other people anymore. In fact, they do not even have time for themselves.

That is why it is not such an appalling revelation when…

For most young career people, they find spending nearly 35% of their time at the workplace than at their respective homes. That accounts to almost 9 hours of work, work, and work.

For this reason, most of the people involved in this kind of situation find themselves out of place in the social world because they simply do not have time to meet other people anymore. In fact, they do not even have time for themselves.

That is why it is not such an appalling revelation when some surveys showed how 67.8% of the respondents, all working but in different companies, are into relationship with their colleagues. This goes to show that because of the time constraint that most professionals have and because of the lack of sociable time that they need, most of them divert to the aspect of getting a romantic partner in the office instead.

Most of those who are involved in this kind of relationship contend that their workplace seemed to be a natural breeding ground for romantic couples since they are together for more than 40 hours within the week.

Also, they asserted that creating a relationship in the office is inevitable because most of them get along with each other well based on the premise that they revolve around the same environment that initiates common interests, beliefs, and backgrounds.

However, because of some professional etiquette around the office, some companies despise the idea of having their employees being involved with each other. The bosses believe that romantic and intimate relationships may bring about negligence on their respective jobs.

Moreover, certain flaws are seen on this kind of relationship. There is a higher probability that the couple might have a conflict of concern with regards to their respective duties in the office and their duties and responsibilities with each other.

Therefore, for those who cannot help but fall in love while doing monthly inventories, here is a list of some workplace romance tips to keep you out of the brink of disaster:

1. Think first before deciding

Before deciding on this matter, it would be better to think first, probably a hundred…no make that a thousand times before deciding on it.

Try to contemplate on the possible consequences and benefits that you can get from the relationship. If the relationship will not work out, will you be ready to face the consequences?

2. Evaluate each prospect

Establishing a worthwhile relationship with your colleagues should primarily be based on its being worthy for a date.

It would be better if you will evaluate on the upshots of dating the person based on his or her position in the company, its value, and the possible corollaries of the separation, if ever.

For instance, if you want to ask your colleague on a date, try to contemplate first on the issue of rivalry between you and your officemate and the rough situation that both of you may be in after the breakup.

Also, try to look the possible angle of biasness for bosses dating their subordinates. The issue of “favoritism” may take place.

3. Be smart

Keep in mind that the reason why God placed our minds above our hearts is for the mind to rule above all. So if you are suddenly being snooped with some seniority in the office, do not be deceived yet. Try to test this person for some reliability quizzes and put him more on hot water.

The point here is that if ever he is trying to establish a good romantic relationship with you, it is better to be assured that his intentions are for real and just because he is looking for some diversion in the office.

4. Friendships as the best foundation

For a budding romantic relationship in the office, it is best to keep focused on creating friendships first. This is because some people believed that friendship, as the core foundation of any relationship, is better than just a break-from-work relationship.

Given all that, workplace romance can be really fun and dreamy. However, one or both of them should realize that office romances are not based on a contract that can expires when the time allotted has elapsed. It would be better to hear these kinds of relationships to last a lifetime, even if both of them have already retired from their jobs.

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You want to write a love letter to the special person in your life to tell them how you feel about them but how do you put it into words? And where do you start? If that sounds like you then you’ll find this article very useful in helping you to express exactly what you want to say.

dating, relationships, romance, love letter, love letters, love advice, love tips, romantic, love life, dating advice, lost love

You want to tell your partner how you feel about them but you end up staring at a blank screen for so long you give up. Or you try a few lines only to delete them all and start over. Again. Why is it so hard to tell the loved one in our life exactly what they mean to us? Do you struggle to find the words to properly convey how you feel? Or is it that you just can’t explain it? Don’t let words get in the way of telling your loved one how much they mean to you.

Everyone wants to be loved. When you are busy living life, there never seems time to slow down and really savour that central relationship that makes it all worthwhile. Oftentimes we think that those closest to us know exactly how we feel about them and how important they are to us. But the sad reality is that often they don’t.

So how can you write a love letter that you will feel proud to give and one that your loved one will cherish for all time? Where do you start? Follow these easy tips below and you’ll be on your way in no time.

1. First write down 5 things that you love about your partner and be as specific as possible. Rather than writing that they are kind, instead be detailed about how they are kind. Perhaps they always smile at waiters in restaurants or they are great at making people feel included, especially at parties.

2. Write down 5 things that they have done that confirms how much you love them and again, give examples. Perhaps they enveloped you in a hug last night when you were feeling frustrated about your family. Or maybe they knew how disappointed you were when you missed out on that promotion and they cooked a special meal to cheer you up.

3. Pick the best three examples from each of the above categories and weave them into your letter. You could start by saying ‘I love how you…’ and then include the three examples from the first point. Then you could say something like ‘I loved the way you…’ and then mention the other examples. Make sure you emphasise how their actions made you feel, how loved you felt and how grateful you are to have them in your life.

4. It is best to write up a draft first and then go over it to see if you can improve it. Sometimes it helps to write up what you want to say, edit it until it flows well and then leave it for a day or two before going back for a final edit and polish.

5. Buy some special paper and write out your letter. Don’t worry if your handwriting isn’t perfect – it’s distinctly yours and your loved one will appreciate the time and effort you put into the letter. If you feel your writing is so bad it will be difficult to read or if your illegible handwriting is something you’ve argued about before then pay to get it hand written by a professional. At a stretch you could use a more romantic font on your computer, say Garamond in italic, but you should really only do that as a last resort. The more personal you can make your letter the more your loved one will treasure it.

6. Think about how you plan on delivering this letter to them. Will you slip it in their briefcase? Mail it? Leave it under the pillow? Do you want to be there when they open it? If you want to see their reaction, then it is best to hand it to them. You could team the letter up with a small gift like flowers or chocolate but make sure the gift doesn’t diminish the letter as you want that to be the main focus.

If a birthday or anniversary or other special occasion is involved you’ll want to include mention of that too.

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Dating online has made the world a smaller place since meeting that special someone no matter how near or far is just a click away.

If one decides to try online dating, here are few advices one must remember along the way;

1. Take it slow

There are a lot of nice people online but there are also some bad people who just take advantage of others. To be sure whether the person one is corresponding with is for real or just playing games, it is best to look out for inco…

dating, romance, relationships, love

Dating online has made the world a smaller place since meeting that special someone no matter how near or far is just a click away.

If one decides to try online dating, here are few advices one must remember along the way;

1. Take it slow

There are a lot of nice people online but there are also some bad people who just take advantage of others. To be sure whether the person one is corresponding with is for real or just playing games, it is best to look out for inconsistencies. If at any instance, there is a feeling of doubt or something wrong, then its best to stop and move on.

2. Don’t give out personals

Since one does not have any idea who this person can be, it is best not to give out any personal information such as last name, real email address and contact numbers. If the person one is corresponding with keeps on pressuring on this issue, it is best to also stop making contact with that person.

3. Ask for a photo

Some people say it does not matter what is in the outside but what is inside the person. Physical appearance believe it or not matters. To authenticate the person one is talking with online, it is best to ask for a photo. For security reasons, it will be best not just one picture but in various settings. If this person is not able to do this, then one should also stop making contact with this person.

4. Proceed with caution

Earning the trust of people does not happen overnight. By taking some time to know more about this person, one will be able to see if this can on any further or be better off meeting someone else.

5. Meet only when ready

Even if a certain level of trust has been established, it is best to only decide to meet when one is ready. Just like meeting someone for the first time, one should take it slow.

6. Choose a public area

Before meeting this person, it is best to tell people like friends and family where one is going. In the interest of safety and security, it is also best to meet in a public place. If there are many people that are around, the safer it will be in case the date does not workout.

Meeting people online may be a little different from meeting someone new through friends. The similarities in both situations are; it takes time to know a person and there is nothing wrong being too careful especially with matters of the heart.

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You say one lie (that you are bold-faced aware you are saying), and you have just changed the game. You now have to keep track of the lie, never forget it, and know that that lie is what part of your potential relationship is now based on. For she will believe you. And one day, if you are both lucky enough to get involved, she will find out. And she will dump your ass. Or do a LOT of haranguing and how-could-yous…

HOW TO SEDUCE A WOMAN

Reality. You say one lie (that you are bold-faced aware you are saying), and you have just changed the game. You now have to keep track of the lie, never forget it, and know that that lie is what part of your potential relationship is now based on. For she will believe you. And one day, if you are both lucky enough to get involved, she will find out. And she will dump your ass. Or do a LOT of haranguing and how-could-yous….
In the same respect as you will be yourself—nervous if you are nervous (some girls find that adorable); clumsy if you are clumsy (some girls find this endearing)—you will also remember that the girl you seek to impress might not be the one for you…no matter how close a next-door neighbor she is or how many years you all went to the same football games and movies. Do not bother “bartering above your station” if she is not the type to date your type.
Confidence. Don’t think yourself unworthy of every woman who walks into study hall, either. Try, please, TRY to strike a healthy balance between “Ah, me,” (ala Eyore) and the cock of the walk. We do not know how to handle either of you. WE don’t know what to do with a whimpering one—other than play armchair psychologist—and we don’t know how to act around an egotist—other than to giggle NERVOUSLY, as in DANGER to our self-preservation instincts, which are telling us to run.
Interests. Have interests other than guns. Talk about something besides your Nazi swastika collection. In fact, if you are a skinhead or neo-Nazi, you may have other things on your mind besides how to seduce women. So ignore this article, won’t you? When you ask her questions, for God’s sake—or yours—LISTEN to the answer. Don’t look at her boobs. Don’t keep saying uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interact.
Health. The studies show that we are attracted to the body and face that represents the optimum reproductive abilities and features. That is, white teeth, symmetrical shapes, etc., are not consciously sought after but certainly part of the search. Brush, bathe, shave, etc.. And smell good. Whatever that means.
Fairness. Do not put her on some Madonna (or Madonna/whore combo) pedestal. She is not Angelina Jolie. She is not your mother. She won’t make love to you forty times a week. She won’t cook for you or jump up from her studies to do the dishes if you demand it, expect it, or insist that Mommy always did it for you. If you are just meeting her, don’t tell her how much you adore your mother or how many nights a week Mom comes along on dates with you. In fact, if you’re an actual Mommy’s Boy, don’t even bother reading this.
Positivity. Whatever You do, do not fake joy and sunshine and lollipops if your favorite pet just died, but try to see something good in every person you meet, not just the one that your biology cannot ignore. Try to see, especially, some good in yourself. Smiling and jokes are often great bonding mechanisms. So is “Hello.”